First World Problems

On a rare occasion you hear something that makes you go “That’s genius!” That happened to me this morning. I was fortunate enough to share breakfast this morning with Super Hero Russell. He stopped by our men’s group study (he actually founded the group in 2008, and lead the group until relocating to the other side of town a couple years ago). The four of us guys were sharing our summer adventures, when one of the guys joked that his son never uses wrapping paper on gifts. He just throws any gifts into a gift bag (no paper stuffing either) and hands it out. Super Hero Russell quickly says “Gift wrapping is a scam. It is a first world problem.” I snapped my head around and said “What did you just say?” “It is a first world problem. Like someone complaining that one of their AC units is down.” I busted out laughing.

You got to understand. Super Hero dishes out nuggets of wisdom one after the other. I have learned to cling to everything that he says. But this one was genius! A first world problem – the kind of thing only spoiled people complain about. These are  not real problems they are just presented as problems. So I went ahead and created the following list of additional “First World Problems” during my lunch today:

  • Line at Starbucks is too long
  • There is a chip in my granite countertop
  • No new shows on Netflix
  • TV in guest bedroom isn’t working
  • Rained on our vacation in the Bahamas
  • No room in garage for third car (SHR)
  • The rear defroster on my car isn’t working
  • Amazon messed up my order
  • I have to find a place to store my leaf blower
  • I need an edger
  • I missed Sports Center
  • There are no good sushi restaurants in the area
  • We are not allowed to water our lawn more than twice a week (SHR)
  • One of my double ovens isn’t heating properly
  • Our comforter doesn’t match the curtains
  • I missed the sale at Pottery Barn
  • The nanny is late
  • One of our IPads isn’t working
  • I need color ink for our printer
  • The dog got through the invisible fence
  • The special diet food for our cat is very expensive
  • The rear window wiper on our SUV isn’t working
  • I ordered pinot noir and instead got cabernet
  • My car’s AC doesn’t cool down the cabin fast enough
  • The internet keeps dropping me
  • The store ran out of People magazine
  • It is raining on my freshly washed car
  • My sun tan is fading
  • We ran out of protein powder
  • I forgot to pick up our dry cleaning
  • I hate dragging the vacuum cleaner to the third floor
  • My Kindle broke
  • We need a new coffee table in the den
  • How do you get a stain out of chinchilla
  • It is hard cleaning my 55 gallon salt water aquarium
  • Having a hard time with my low carb diet
  • Tuition at the boarding school increased
  • It is crowded in the American Girl Doll store
  • How do you change a light bulb in the foyer chandelier
  • Twitter is not working
  • I have to go to the bar to watch the game
  • Where do you find a pure bred Lhasa Apso
  • Can’t find anything to match my pin-stripe suit
  • I chipped a nail
  • The greens were too fast today
  • I had to wait 20 minutes to get my prescription filled
  • I tried to get Elsa to our daughter’s birthday party but she was already booked
  • We need a 30’ extension ladder to get the leaves out of our gutters
  • I hate the new format on Facebook
  • My Sirius satellite radio isn’t working right
  • I was forced to by Jiff because the organic peanut butter harvested from peanuts grown in the small, rural, organic farm in SE Georgia was sold out
  • I spilt my bottle of cologne
  • I’m out of teeth whiting strips
  • I am missing one of the Harry Potter books

While much of this is tongue-n-cheek, I hope it does help you to maybe sit back and reconsider what really does qualify as a problem. Not to lay on a guilt trip, but here in America, what most of us mistakenly label as a “problem” is usually nothing more than a minor inconvenience. Take time to reflect on some of the serious issues many other people are facing today. And maybe it is time to get rid of that chinchilla coat.

Feel free to submit more “First World Problems”. I look forward to your submittals


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